Thursday, April 24, 2014

This I Used to Believe.

An Unknown Land

Everyone has a place in the world where they like to call home.  A residence of comfort, ease, and peace surrounded by different objects and people that have meaning specifically to them that make up the building blocks of who and what they are to become in the future.  Home might be a large city, a small town, or the hills and valleys of the desolate backcountry.  Wherever this special place may be, throughout life this place will always have a strong connection to your memory, actions, and beliefs.
            Growing up in a smaller town with a population of near 5,000 people it is easy to tune out the rest of the world in certain ways.  It is easy to be carefree and focus on things that are simple, a life of sleeping outside or running around the yard in bare feet, or the adventure of jumping in the lake or causing mischief on the weekends. 
The invisible curtain that lay around the perimeters of my town are thoughts of wonder, imagination, and fear.  This curtain is what has formed my shelter and safety for the past nineteen years, it is where I never get lost knowing every street, twist, and turn within its boundaries.  It is where I find my comfort zone, not yet motivated to travel far outside of the borders of the county in which I have grown to love with all of my heart.  I knew that one day that would all change.  The day came I received the opportunity to explore, go, and create a journey for myself and an opportunity to note my first adventure full of new experiences, culture, food, and people. 
In the summer of 2010 I finally received my opportunity to break through the sheltered barrier that held me bound.  Traveling and living in a different country, where I only heard negative, hurtful things such as drugs, war, poor living conditions, strange yet odd and smelly people, vandalism, and insignificant sanitation frightened me.  This place that I describe is the unique country of the green, red, and white flag, pinto beans, salsa and tamales known has the vast land of Mexico! 
Filled with nerves and extreme fright I had no clear idea of what to expect. Running through my mind was the horrible news stories, the boarder connecting Mexico to the United States, and the hopeless drug trafficking.  My future at this point looked dark – I was filled with anxiety of the apprehension of the unknown. 
Leading up to my departure, I found out a few odd facts about the specific location where I would be living.  My first thoughts were extremely pessimistic about the culture and living conditions.  I imagined a dusty desert like place full of bugs and creepy crawly insects and animals.  I could smell the heat bouncing off my black shoes and stinging my skin and turning it red from the blistering rays of the sun.  I imagined huge tumbleweeds rolling in the distance and collecting near a fence line. 
Questions immediately popped into my head while brainstorming and making up my own thoughts and ideas of what Mexico was really like.  Do they travel by donkey?  Is it safe to walk outside during the evening?  Do the people live in clay huts and buildings?  My mind was racing and my heart felt as if it was beating at a faster rate than normal.
Graduating high school I felt on top of the world.  I had no fear, no worry.  I was ready to tackle whatever obstacles and situations standing in my path.  I felt this way due to the fact that I finally was an adult.  I created my own opinion and my idea of the world and future was clear.  My mind was driven and my body was energetic ready for adventure.
At this point and time those feelings and thoughts differed.  I was confused, scared, and felt a longing for my family and home, and I had not even left yet!  Knowing that I would be leaving everything I had ever known was very difficult.  My comfort zone started falling to pieces.  I scrambled quickly to pick up each piece, but failed horribly to glue them back together.  I knew that no other option would suffice but to leave and find strength some other way.  I continued telling myself that this is what I needed/wanted and somehow it all would work out if I just kept moving forward.
My strength came through the encouragement of friends and family.  I talked to many people who had actually experienced Mexico and her people.  I spent some time researching and building up a secure knowledge of what I would be facing.  Slowly but surely I built back up my confidence to leave my beloved home and make the journey to start a new life in a new land.    
The time came and I left my beautiful family behind with tears in my eyes.  I would not see them or communicate with them very often over the next couple of years and my heart felt somewhat broken.  In my head a lot of different things would change during the time period that I would be away.  In example, my friends and family, my town, my way of thinking and many more small things that I had stored away in my comfort zone. 
I remember stepping off the plane into the new country.  I was shocked.  I looked around me and saw normal people, advertisement, technology, and Americanized food.  I saw beautiful buildings, well kept gardens, and families playing in the park.  I saw brand new cars, exquisite houses and apartment complexes.  I knew that my initial idea of Mexico had been wrong.  I had to take the time to really laugh at myself for judging and making a stereotype about a place I had never visited nor lived.  The people here were just like the people at home.  Even thought the language and food were different I was able to create a new comfort zone and come to love almost everything about Mexico.  Without a doubt I learned a lesson from this experience and changed my though process that I would take with me in the future about potential places and countries I would come to know. 

I took a deep breath and sighed with relief knowing that I would be just fine and that my adventure here in this strange land would be exciting!  The journey started and I felt happy and calm.  Little did I know that this country would change my life forever and give me a constant desire to return Mexico.                 

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